One Foot in the Grave
(Night Huntress, Book Two)
By Jeaniene Frost
Story Rating: 2 Stars
Performance Rating: 4 Stars
Overall Rating: 2.5 Stars
*Series Spoilers Ahead*
Wow, what a journey you guys. Where do I even begin? After listening to the roller coaster of a first novel Halfway to the Grave, I decided to give this one a go. I won’t lie, literally the only reason I decided to keep going was for Bones. It’s no secret that Cat annoys me to no end, but the bad-assery of Bones (a.k.a. Crispin. HA! For some reason that name cracks me up every time I hear it.) cancels her out. Although, after this masterpiece that may no longer be true.
Our journey begins four years after the first book left off, following Cat on a mission for her new, fancy vampire-hunting squad. She’s suppose to be going after the master vampire Ian and relapses into her old seductive trapping methods to beat him, only to find out that he is Bone’s sire. His connection to her former love weakens her resolve. She lets Ian go with nothing but a hole in his chest and the knowledge that she’s a half-vamp. Not a good move Cat.
As we follow her around, the readers get a taste for how Cat has been living her life the past few years. She lives alone and has become close friends with a woman named Denise whom Cat spends most of her time with. Her mom is still as charming as ever. *Sarcasm Alert* And there have been no relationships or sex since leaving Bones, dodging any and all advances that come her way (much to the dismay of dear old Denise). Cat has also taken Crispin’s real last name Russell as her new undercover pseudonym and tattooed an identical copy of his crossbones on her hip, making her one breath away from being an Edward Cullen stalker.
On her way to Denise’s one night, Cat accidentally hits… well… a cat and has to bring it to a local vet to get looked at. He’s a nice, normal guy that instantly becomes taken with her despite the warnings she gives him about her eccentric job. At the urging of Denise, Cat decides to embark on the most pointless relationship EVER that serves no purpose other than to annoy everyone. I seriously can’t even remember his name. But while Cat entertains her new veterinarian, Denise falls for a guy named Randy and decides to get married with her bestie as a bridesmaid. Imagine Cat’s surprise when she’s walking down the aisle and sees Bones among the groomsmen. Obviously she’s flabbergasted and demands an explanation from Bones once the ceremony is through. Apparently Randy just HAPPENS to know about vampires—despite him being very human—and Bones just HAPPENED to meet him at a bar a few months prior. I wish I was kidding.
Bones also comes bearing the news that Ian is infatuated by the mysterious Cat and is looking for her so he can add her to his “collection.” As if all of this wasn’t enough, there’s also someone trying to kill Cat with hired assassins and they know it’s not Ian since he’s trying obtain her not kill her. All of this madness helps bring Cat and Bones together, forcing them to team up to figure out what the hell is going on. That and the fact that Bones hasn’t stopped looking for her since she left four years ago. Bones is more than a little pissed and in one conversation manages to solve every damn problem with their relationship that appeared at the end of book one. How convenient. Oh, and vet guy is definitely kicked to the curb. Duh.
To help fight the very creepy and powerful Ian, Bones calls some friends for reinforcements. This includes his former client *wink wink, nudge nudge* and vampire offspring Annette who is still in love with him. As we learned in the last novel, Cat is the jealous type and this news displeases her to say the least. To prove he no longer cares for Annette and loves her, Bones takes Cat to their bedroom and a sex EXPLOSION happens. That’s not suppose to be a joke, I just can’t think of any other way to describe chapter 32. After nothing but heavy make-out sessions and fully-clothed parking lot quickies, we suddenly are inundated with them going at it. After that it’s all downhill. Cat’s team of good guys finds Ian to deal with his creepy stalker tendencies and she makes an idiotic mistake that changes everything.
Chapter 32. I just… I don’t even… Oh my god. Listen, I don’t mind some smut in my books. Hell, most of the time I enjoy it. What I do mind is going from 0 to 60 in the span of seconds. It was just way too much out of nowhere and I had such a hard time keeping it together. Call me juvenile, but I got such a bad case of the giggles and it ruined the rest of the book for me. Obviously I knew this was a paranormal romance going in because I listened to the last one, but everything just seemed so ridiculous after that one scene! Like, really? How do you even top that? What’s the point in going on? Plus, I don’t think it really helped my case having it read to me by a third party. There’s just something extra awkward about listening to a stranger describe a graphic sex scene to you.
I also couldn’t believe that Cat and Bones got back together with minimal fanfare after all the dramatics at the end of the last novel. He drops the you’re-probably-immortal bomb on Cat, which solves that dilemma, but what about the government agent stuff? In the end of Halfway to the Grave, Cat is basically blackmailed into the secret service because they threaten Bone’s life and she even fakes his death because she’s so worried. Yet he just comes waltzing back in and no one gives a damn? What? What happened to the whole “no fraternizing with the enemy” thing?
Plus, The beginning half of this book is one big snooze-fest. It was filled with Cat’s boring life spliced with action from her secret service missions and I was counting down the seconds until Bones returned.
Bones. He’s single-handedly carrying the series at this point.
This is all about personal preference. I can see why it’s gotten so many five-star reviews because it’s certainly not short on entertainment, but I won’t be recommending this any time soon. My love for Bones can only carry me so far and I think I’ve reached my quota. If I want more Spike in my life I’ll just go watch some Buffy reruns.